A few years ago my friend's husband asked me to write her two letters for Mother's Day, one for her to read before their baby's arrival and one for her to read after. I wrote both letters, thinking what a great idea it was for him to ask her friends and family for letters of encouragement. Then I sulked a little bit because no one thought to send me a letter when my first child was born.
So I started sending a version of the letter to all my new mom friends. Recently a friend I sent it to asked if she could send it to one of her friends. I decided to share it here. In case you need it. I know I did.
My dearest Friend,
This letter has become a tradition of mine. I wrote a letter like this to a first time mom friend and since it was exactly what I needed to hear those first few days/weeks/months I’ve been sharing it with all my first time mom friends.
Honestly, I don’t really remember the first few months of G’s life very well. I look at pictures and I think, “He used to look like that? I don’t remember that.” And people ask me what he was like and what he played with and what size clothes he wore and when he sat up and when he rolled over. For the life of me, I can’t remember. It’s okay to not remember everything. It’s okay if you’re not writing everything down in a baby book and freaking scrapbooking everything like a professional mom. Because those first few months take a lot. I spent months feeding myself and feeding G and feeling very, very accomplished for having done so. If that’s all that you manage to do it’s enough.
You are enough.
The only worthwhile parenting advice I got was:
Trust your instincts.
You know more than you think you know and you know your baby and your family better than anyone else. Do what works for you and try to ignore the well-meaning people who grab your baby’s toes and say that he’s cold and needs to be wearing socks when it’s a hundred degrees out. Don’t let anyone convince you you’re doing it wrong because I know you won’t.
Enjoy your sweet, snuggly baby and if you need to talk to an adult give me a call. I love you very much and I just know you’re already great at this.
I love you!
Emily
